My Reason To Live
by Artistically Insightful
Summary: My take on how it was like when Trevor got discharged from the Canadian Air Forces and became and drifter and went through life alone until he met Michael and latched onto him. One-Shot. Trevor has BPD.


Trevor has borderline personality disorder by the way. I wrote this kind of like how I experience my mental disorder. And how I latch on to some people for like no reason because of my awful childhood.

* * *

At 19 Trevor had discovered his passion for flying jets, it was one of his favorite hobbies. He felt so calm in the air above everyone. Flying took his mind off of all the crazy shit in his life. It was his only escape. He needed this outlet, he craved this outlet. His reason to live.

Trevor had never felt so uncomfortable in his life. He couldn't help but fidget slightly as he looked at the woman in charge of psychological evaluations her gaze was harsh and unforgiving. It sent shivers down Trevor's spine.

He had to stop himself from jumping when the woman suddenly said,''Trevor Philips is it?''

Trevor nods,''Y-Yes ma'am.''

''Let's begin. I will start by showing you a few images and you will tell me what you see okay. '' Trevor nods and watches as the woman brings out these strange white pictures with blobs of ink on them. Trevor didn't know what the hell this had to do with him flying.

The therapist cleared her throat and then held up one of the pictures,''Okay , what do you see?''

Trevor looked at her and then back at the paper,''Um..Are you serious?''

''Yes I am.'' She snapped,''What is it do you see in the image?''

''Um. It's just a blob of black ink...?'' Trevor shrugs, what was this shit? He didn't get the fucking point.

The therapist sighed,''Okay. This may not work for you. So let's move on to the more vocal activity. Tell me what your childhood was like .'' She sits back in her chair and watches as Trevor starts to tremble and look around.

''M-My Childhood. Um. I. I was raised in a shit hole well. Multiple shit holes. I was constantly moved around from one person to another because my mother...My mother I love her so much but she didn't always...Um.'' Trevor looked at the floor fidgeting.

The therapist frowns slightly,''There seems to be some apprehension. Did she abuse you?''

''NO! NO! Mama would never hurt me.''

''Hm...'' The therapist started writing on her notepad.

''Wait. What are you doing?''

''I'm writing . It's how we come up with a diagnosis for you.''

''Wait what!?'' Trevor jumps up trembling,''Y-You're not going to put me in another nut house!?'' He frantically looks around the room.

'' I'm going to need you to sit back down.'' The therapist says in a even tone.

Trevor felt so uncomfortable but he knew he needed to go through this to be able to fly. He slowly sat back down feeling like the woman was staring into his soul. She tilts her head,''What is the matter?''

''N-nothing.'' Trevor shakes his head,''I want to continue.''

''Good.'' The therapist says flatly,''Now about you and your mother. Are you close with her?''

''Uh yes. Of Course. Sometimes she gets a little too close.''

''What do you mean by that?'' The therapist has her pen and paper ready.

''She touched me. Um. She...would. Touch my...um and she would...'' Trevor trembled uncontrollably as he stared into space.

''Touch your what?'' The therapist asked.

''Um..I don't want to talk about this.'' Trevor says still staring into space.

''Did she molest you Trevor?'' The therapist asks looking concerned.

''I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS!'' Trevor roared and punched the desk making it lift off of the floor startling the therapist, she jumped up and ran across the room,''Calm down or I will call security.''

Trevor slumped over with his head in his hands. He began to whimper. The therapist let out a sigh,''I am sorry but I am afraid that you are not suited for this job. Get the help that you need. And try to live a more...Balanced life.''

''Fuck you! What the fuck do you know!'' Trevor screamed.

The therapist jumped and pushed herself against the wall even more,'' you may leave.''

Trevor growled,''FUCK YOU! WHAT DO YOU FUCKING KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!''

''Security!''

''I'm fuckin' leaving.'' Trevor announced putting on his coat and exiting the building. As he stepped outside he let out a loud roar. His one dream was ruined all because of his childhood. What kind of shit was that. He started walking down the interstate. He would have to find work elsewhere.

He crossed the boarder to the U.S. He moved down to a small place in North Yankton. A place that felt so miserable. It snowed constantly. He started to feel dead inside as the days progressed. He felt completely alone and dead to the world. So dead inside that he had become numb to everything. Growing more and more hateful as the days passed. Taking his anger and self hatred out on unsuspecting animals and helpless humans.

After months and months of drifting and getting his money through random jobs he had met a man that promised him good cash. All he had to do was escort cargo across the border. He was assigned to do this with another man that he did not know and did not care to know. He had a very bitter view of life and people. Hopefully things would improve, that's what he subconsciously hoped for.

Trevor went to meet his employer and his new partner in crime at an old run down building as he walked in a man in a grey suit greeted him,''Hello you must be Trevor. I am Mr. Robinson. And this is your new partner, Michael Townley.''

And from there Trevor knew things were going to be different. It as just a gut feeling that was so raw. Things were going to improve from here. At least that's what he hoped. Something about his new partner attracted him beyond belief. He stared into Michael's eyes for an uncomfortable amount of time. Michael started looking around the room awkwardly as Trevor latched onto his hand. This man was gonna be his. He knew it sounded crazy but, this man was his new reason to live.


End file.
